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Divorce emotional stages: rebuilding

By Michele Diamond, LICSW, BCD


It’s going from shock and denial ("this isn’t really happening")
to acceptance.

It’s feeling like the pain will never end,
to letting go of what pains you.

It’s feeling overwhelmed with loss, to grieving the losses,
to celebrating the gains.

It’s going from love to hate to indifference
to forgiveness all toward the same person.

It’s feeling unloved and unlovable
to loving yourself and moving on, with or without a partner.

It’s riding a rollercoaster of emotions to stability.

It’s blame and guilt,
to taking stock of yourself
& understanding your contribution to the failed relationship

It’s accepting responsibility for your part in the failed relationship and learning how to stop repeating the same old patterns.

It’s crying every day
to tremendous joy doing things you’ve never done,
in places you’ve never been,
with people you’d never have known.

It’s worrying about your kids
to knowing they’re fine and that you did your best.

It’s fear and anxiety about going it alone
to great pride and excitement about going it alone.

It’s sleepless nights alone with self-doubt,
to sleepless nights enjoying the passion of a new lover.

It’s living through a time of little control, to having more control over your life than ever before.

It’s being right here, right now, in this moment, living your life, the best you can.


Michele Diamond, LICSW, BCD is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Wayland, MA. She specializes in counseling and coaching adults and children regarding issues related to divorce and stepfamilies. See website.



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